Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, The Darwin Awards commemorate individuals who protect our gene pool by making the ultimate sacrifice of their own lives: by eliminating themselves in an extraordinarily idiotic manner, thereby improving our species' chance of long-term survival. In other words, they are cautionary tales about people who kill themselves in really stupid ways, and in doing so, significantly improve the gene pool by eliminating themselves from the human race.
The early history of the Darwin Awards, is littered
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junk entries – urban legends, fake stories, or true ones from different points in history.
But in 1994 one award is marked “confirmed true”: the tale of two pilots found in the wreckage of their plane “partially clothed” with one of the seats in “full aft reclining position.”
A report from the US National Transportation Safety Board said: “Examination of the individuals’ clothing revealed no evidence of ripping or distress to the zippers and belts.” It went on blame the deaths
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“the pilot in command’s improper in-flight decision to divert her attention
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other activities not related to the conduct
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the flight.” The Darwin Awards had been born with a bang.
Since then the Darwin Awards have offered a sick annual hall of fame for those who died
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exceptionally stupid ways. Here are some of the weirdest 'winners'.
James Burns, 34, of Michigan, USA, died while attempting to repair his truck from underneath while it was still in motion. Local newspapers reported that Burns had asked his friend to drive the truck on a highway while he clung
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its undercarriage in an ill-fated attempt to work out the source of a funny noise it kept making.
In Holland a group of employees
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a company trip provided decades worth of warning for unruly children to keep their extremities inside the vehicle. Two men had their heads
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of the window, singing
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the wind, when the bus entered a viaduct. The chauffeur said he had not locked the window because he did not think adult passengers would be stupid enough to need it.
In Akron, Ohio, 23-year-old Michael Gentner is said to have swallowed a five-inch-long live fish
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a dare. When he began to choke
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it, friends phoned an ambulance, but only said their friend had ‘eaten some fish’. Paramedics were surprised to find its tail flapping in his mouth. Deputy Police Chief Michael Matulavich said he would probably not charge Gentner’s three friends. “I don’t know what you’d charge them
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. If I dare you to jump off a bridge and you do it, and you’re 23 years of age, you’re stupid,” he told reporters.
In Oregon, USA, a man lost control of his truck and crashed it
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a utility pole carrying high voltage power lines. Later, he was found lying face-down beside his vehicle with a pair of pruning shears
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his hands. Police speculated that he had reached up to clip the sparking cable lying across his truck.
An Italian named Fabio had quit his job as an ostrich farmer to drive trucks, and in his spare time built his own spy gadgets. In a pub with friends, he produced his latest invention: a single-shot pistol cleverly concealed as a pen. To prove it was worked, he pointed it
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his head and clicked the button. It did.
A mugger in Bloemfontein, South Africa, is said to have climbed into a tiger cage while trying to escape the authorities. Taking flight
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a victim who screamed, he scrambled up a fence without realising that the other side was a ten meter drop into the animals’ habitat.
A 33-year-old man was found stabbed
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death in his own house in Leicester, with no indication
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a struggle and no suicidal tendencies. But an inquest solved the mystery: ‘Darren’ had bought a new jacket which he believed was stab-proof, but he had wanted to test its abilities.
In South Carolina, USA, a man spray-painted his face to disguise himself during a robbery – and then died
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the fumes. Michael Gregory Thomas, 23, and Thomas James, 24, robbed a convenience store at gunpoint. But despite clear labels which said it should not be allowed to contact the skin or the eyes, Mr James spray-painted his face gold. Some time after the robbery he stopped breathing.
After missing a lift, a Korean man rolled back his wheelchair and repeatedly rammed
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the doors in an attempt to force them open. He succeeded – but the lift had already gone.
An Australian man plunged
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his death from a seventh-story balcony because he had been ‘planking’ on its railing. Planking, in case you didn’t know, is a craze where people take photos of themselves lying flat as a board in unusual locations. David Tyrrell, a committed plankster from Queensland, said the man was not representative of the planking community: “Those guys would be a minority – the people that do something stupid, like a traffic light.”
2012’s award went to Gary Allen Banning, a 43-year-old man who accidentally drank
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a jar containing gasoline and then smoked a cigarette. Mr Banning was at a friend’s apartment when he mistook a salsa jar full of gasoline for a drink. It’s not as if he didn’t notice – he quickly spat it
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– but he didn’t realise the gasoline had gotten
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his clothes. The poor man burst into flames.
Two men in Rotterdam, Netherlands, were killed
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what seemed to be a drunken contest of machismo. One man lay down
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the tracks, waiting for the train to pass overhead, while another simply kneeled down next
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them with his head
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the way of the train. Eyewitnesses told the Dutch media that they had been daring each other about how long they could wait until a train reached them.
Adapted from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/11288563/The-Darwin-Awards-20-years-of-lethal-stupidity.html